I Am On A Diet

I'm not making healthy changes to my lifestyle, I'm not baby stepping my way to weightloss, I am on a diet. It's all pain. 

When I was fat starting to lose weight was alright. We had no cash so it was easy to give up the pub, chocolate bars, baking and all that stuff. It was good to learn to cook, there were a couple of failures but all in all it was ok. It was easy to get used to the smaller portion sizes, it was fine to try new vegetables and new ways of cooking. I'm sure I complained at times but because I was going from feeling so unhappy to being full of energy and joy it didn't matter. It wasn't good to start exercising. We had to walk because we'd taken the car off the road to save money and I didn't like it. I cried on the way home from the supermarket once. The supermarket was about a mile away. 

That was ages ago. We both lost weight, I got rid of 42lbs and Dan got rid of about 60lbs, we lived in a really healthy way, did a ton of exercise and it was natural to be that way, we were like that for about 4 years. Then Dan changed jobs and we put the house on the market. The exercise stopped and it hasn't really started again.

There have been many false dawns with this latest slimming thing. Ever since we moved here I've known I was piling on weight. The difference between when I lost all the weight before and now is that I could only see the benefit of doing it before whereas now I can only see the pain. I've been acting like a brat for the past 3 years and now I'm having a giant tantrum because I have a fat bum but don't want to do anything about it. Standing up is the hardest part.